Monday, 7 October 2013

"Charley says...[obey or die]" (1973)

Bad behaviour was rampant in 1970s Scarfolk and disciplining children was a major concern.

The so-called 'degenerate generation' of children, often from worthless-class backgrounds, was known to actively defy rules and social norms and frequently committed the following appalling offences:

- Stay awake after allotted bedtimes.
- Peel marzipan decorations from cakes.
- Laugh loudly while having fun.
- Read books more advanced than their official reading age.
- Question adults' belief in Father Christmas.
- Cry after having nightmares.
- Refuse to join in educational/life-skills games such as 'lie about a friend,' 'slap-the-immigrant',  'wet someone else's bed.'

In a desperate attempt to curb this destructive, nihilistic behaviour, Scarfolk Health Service launched a treatment regime employing the newly developed 'great flooding' psychological technique*, which exposes the subject to such long durations of relentless and exaggerated cruelty that any desire to be undisciplined is quashed.

*The technique largely comprised of repeated readings of a book called the bible which was written many hundreds of years ago by people who had never heard of knives and forks, washing machines, coat hangers, toilet seats, aluminium kitchen foil or shampoo.


  1. Dunno how to feel about this one, I've spent the last 2 years trying to bring back Charley Says for a number of Public Information films. Ive got a couple if them done too. Unfortunately its been stuck in 'committee meetings'. Glad someone dud something with it at least.

  2. Charlie and I were in the park, when a strange man came up to us and said "Would you like to join our Jihadist cult?" I was about to go, but Charley started speaking in tongues, so we went and told our mum. She fed us with loaves and fishes and informed the authorities, who shot the man dead.

    True story.

  3. no please, no with the bible. it's too cruel.